Shame and Having Fun

I went to a Phish concert last night. I have not been to one in a while and it was a wonderful, peak type of experience. I thought a lot about how fear infects my life on all levels and how I hold against feeling it. But also I notice that today I am feeling a little down. This often (if not all the time) happens after I enjoy myself in that way. I have been preprogrammed to punish myself for having a good time. This is shame at work.